Izumi's 12 Days of ZetsuAi


by Harukami

Izumi: Sing a Christmas carol?
Harukami: Deal.
Izumi: But...
Harukami: Deal.
Izumi: -_- You did this for Slayers! And Neko did it for Gundam Wing! Why do you feel the insane urge to do it for ZetsuAi too?!
Harukami: Izumi?
Izumi: Yeah?
Harukami: Deal.

On the first day of Zetsu, my true love gave to me:
A yaoi fic that's really steamy (KOJI! I DO NOT WANT TO READ THIS!)

On the second day of Zetsu, my true love gave to me:
Two psycho brothers (Great. JUST what I needed to celebrate the holiday season!)
And a yaoi fic that's really steamy (It isn't even that well written... oh... my....)

On the third day of Zetsu, my true love gave to me:
Three itty-bitty soccer shorts (Size XS?)
Two psycho brothers (Hirose, put that barbed wire away...)
And a yaoi fic that's really steamy (Koji you... idiot! You really think I'd want to READ about that?!)

On the fourth day of Zetsu, my true love gave to me:
Four glam-rock songs (Koji, makeup certainly makes you look...... interesting.....)
Three itty-bitty soccer shorts (I don't think I can even get INto them...)
Two psycho brothers (Good morning, Akihito, nice Porsche...)
And a yaoi fic that's really steamy (I mean, you usually try to act it out, and don't you think forewarning might give me a head start to get out of the country?)

On the fifth day of Zetsu, my true love gave to me:
FIVE DESPERATE HUGS! (ACKKKK!!!!)
Four glam-rock songs (Though maybe you should have gone with more purple eyeshadow instead of the yellow...)
Three itty-bitty soccer shorts (isn't that sort of self-defeating? I mean, if I can't get 'em on, they'll be hard to get off, too...)
Two psycho brothers (Random rape scene, anyone? Is there a requirement of one per book? And why ME?)
And a yaoi fic that's really steamy (Are you trying to get me in the mood or something?)

On the sixth day of Zetsu, my true love gave to me:
Six traffic accidents (Oh, yeah, I'll just store those in the closet until I have use for them... -_-)
FIVE DESPERATE HUGS! (Koji, not NOW!)
Four glam-rock songs (And what were you THINKING, dyeing your hair? It looks like a cheesy halloween wig...)
Three itty-bitty soccer shorts (Or maybe that's the point...)
Two psycho brothers (You know something Koji? Thanks, it was a nice gesture, but you can keep them.)
And a yaoi fic that's really steamy ('cause if you are trying to get me in the mood, it isn't working.)

On the seventh day of Zetsu, my true love gave to me:
Seven nerve-reduction pills (Hey, aren't these Taka's?)
Six traffic accidents (There are a lot of these, aren't there?)
FIVE DESPERATE HUGS! (Can you at least untie me first?)
Four glam-rock songs (At least you didn't wear a dress...)
Three itty-bitty soccer shorts (I might be safer from those random rape scenes if I wore less clothes, but tighter so nobody could get me out of them...)
Two psycho brothers (I've got my own family, and they're weird enough already...)
And a yaoi fic that's really steamy (It has, however, succeeded in making me wonder about your sanity. Again.)

On the eighth day of Zetsu, my true love gave to me:
Eight old porn movies (You and Minamimoto?! WHY?!)
Seven nerve-reduction pills (Which I need after watching those porn movies...)
Six traffic accidents (Note to self: Get life insurance paid up.)
FIVE DESPERATE HUGS! (Koji... can't... breathe...)
Four glam-rock songs (Did you WANT to look like a girl or something?)
Three itty-bitty soccer shorts (Hey, at least nobody's GIVEN me any random rape scenes yet...)
Two psycho brothers (If Akihito hates Koji, hit HIM with the damn car!!)
And a yaoi fic that's really steamy (Oh... my... it gets worse...... is that anatomically possible?)

On the ninth day of Zetsu, my true love gave to me:
Nine random rape scenes (I should have known better than to speak...)
Eight old porn movies (Gee, it's even got the bump-n-grind music for the rape scenes...)
Seven nerve-reduction pills (I know now why Taka needs them... still, I wish he were the victim character, not me...)
Six traffic accidents (Note to self: Hijack Koji's motorcycle before going out of country again)
FIVE DESPERATE HUGS! (People are staring...)
Four glam-rock songs (Why do the music videos have me doing THAT?)
Three itty-bitty soccer shorts (They'll protect me from the random rape scenes! I have it all figured out now!)
Two psycho brothers (Why is Hirose holding that pizza slicer?)
And a yaoi fic that's really steamy (*sound of a nosebleed*)

On the tenth day of Zetsu, my true love gave to me:
Ten public embarrassments (KOJI GET YOUR HAND OFF MY ASS!)
Nine random rape scenes (Why, persay, did you want to give THESE to me, Koji?)
Eight old porn movies (not to mention these...)
Seven nerve-reduction pills (STRESSED?! I'M NOT STRESSED! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?!?)
Six traffic accidents (Note to self: Avoid Akihito and his Porsche.)
FIVE DESPERATE HUGS! (Look, while this is cute and all, I've got to get to work...)
Four glam-rock songs (Koji, the Evil Nazi Vampire of Doom. Just what I needed on a dull day.)
Three itty-bitty soccer shorts (I guess I need three 'cause Hirose went through the first two with the pizza slicer, huh?)
Two psycho brothers (I mean, does Akihito really feel the need to insert his brother's name in EVERY sentance?)
And a yaoi fic that's really steamy (I wonder what it would be like to do THAT...)

On the eleventh day of Zetsu, my true love gave to me:
Eleven mournful looks (You look like a kicked puppy-dog!)
Ten public embarrassments (Must you bring the paparazzi with you wherever you go?)
Nine random rape scenes (I'm glad the paparazzi didn't get a load of this...)
Eight old porn movies (At least he shows more emotion when he does that with ME)
Seven nerve-reduction pills (AND I'M ONLY MORE STRESSED 'CAUSE THAT DOESN'T SCAN!)
Six traffic accidents (Maybe I could start selling tickets by this time.)
FIVE DESPERATE HUGS (to go along with five of the ten public embarrassments...)
Four glam-rock songs (He is a good singer though...)
Three itty-bitty soccer shorts (which show a lot more leg than they ought to...)
Two psycho brothers (I understand that having your younger brother screw your girlfriend when he's eleven could be a little disturbing, but Akihito's just cracked.)
And a yaoi fic that's really steamy (My wondering was not an invitation Koji... THAT MEANS STOP!)

On the twelveth day of Zetsu, my true love gave to me:
Twelve happy endings (or at least a hopefully happy ending to Bronze twelve?)
Eleven mournful looks (All right, I'm sorry...)
Ten public embarrassments (My LIFE is a public embarrassment)
Nine random rape scenes (But the series is ending soon, so they'll probably be the last... I HOPE.)
Eight old porn movies (Oops, they're broken. I love magnets...)
Seven nerve-reduction pills (actually, considering the series, I'm surprised I haven't been perscribed my own. I should start going to Taka's doctor...)
Six traffic accidents (You know something? I'm going to get an airplane and then I won't *CRASH*)
FIVE DESPERATE HUGS (They are kind of sweet, though...)
Four glam-rock songs (...is he singing about me?...)
Three itty-bitty soccer shorts (I guess showing that much leg isn't all bad... Koji seems not to mind...)
Two psycho brothers (Koji, let's buy some pepper spray or something.)
And a yaoi fic that's really steamy (Mmmm.... Koji....)


Liked it? Hated it? Wonder what sort of Tang the author was smoking? Want a date with Izumi?
Izumi: Mmm... Ko... HEY!
Email me at harukami@hanashika.com.