Yuki paused, pulling his toothbrush out of his mouth. "No."

"Awwwww! Come on, Yuki! Please! I'll be your best friend forever!"

Spitting toothpaste into the sink, Yuki ignored the way Shuuichi watched it go down the drain as if watching gold pouring out of sight. "I said no and I mean no. What the hell do you need my used toothpaste foam for anyway? You can make your own just fine by opening your shit mouth and brushing for once."

"That's mean! I brush all the time! But they wouldn't want mine."

Yuki eyed him suspiciously. "'They'. Expand on this point."

Shuuichi beamed at him so hugely that Yuki pondered looking for the nearest exit, taking it, and just fleeing. "My family, Yuki! They're giant fans of yours, you know. Both my mom and my sister have all your books."

"Huh. Is that how you heard of me?"

"HA, no." Shuuichi laughed. "Like I'd care what romance novels the girls are gaga over -- hey! Hey, Yuki, where are you going?!" He followed Yuki out of the room. "Anyway, since they found out that you and I, you know--"

"No," Yuki told him.

"--'ve been begging me for some of your STUFF and I thought of stealing your underwear a while, just because it'd make them so happy, but then I figured, no way, I like that underwear, but your toothpaste spit just goes down the drain anyway so you'd hardly miss it, and--"

Yuki pulled a package of cigarettes out of his pocket. "You're a freak."

"They're also asking to meet you, you know."

Yuki pinned him with a death glare of hate and loathing. "No," he said. "I refuse to meet your shit family. Especially if they're fangirls. It's hard enough to put up with you most of the time; why would I bother dealing with your family if I don't have to? I know what it'd be: 'Yuki-san, sign my book', 'Yuki-san, leave my brother and run away with me', 'Yuki-san, would you give me my first kiss?' Shit, no. What possible reason would I do that?"

Shuuichi's eyes went huge and shimmery. "It'd make me happy."

"You think that makes a difference?"

***

Yuki smiled his most charming smile as he bowed over Shuuichi's mother's hand. "Mrs. Shindou... surely you can't be Shuuichi's mother? You're so young and beautiful, I simply assumed you had to be his older sister -- no, his younger, certainly."

Mrs. Shindou blushed, her free hand flying to her cheek. "Oh! Do you think so?"

"Absolutely, Madame. And is this your sister, Shuuichi?" He bowed to Maiko. "I see the family resemblence to your mother; your beauty must be a trait unique to the women of your family."

Maiko squeaked. "Ah! Thank you, Yuki-sama!"

Shuuichi stared, mouth hanging open.

Yuki shook hands with Shuuichi's father, dialing the charm down, but still smiling broadly.

"Welcome," Mr. Shindou said, smiling blandly. "I hear you've been getting up to trouble with my boy, eh?"

"I certainly hope no trouble is involved, Mr. Shindou," Yuki said. "But I understand how awkward it must be for me to be here--"

"No!" Maiko cried, at the same time as Mrs. Shindou interjected, "Please, it's no trouble at all!" "That's right!" "You should feel welcome here!" "Just like family!" "Absolutely!"

Yuki's smile was wide and flat. "Why, thank you. I hope you don't mind, I brought a little gift..."

"Oh, you shouldn't have--"

"It's a preview of the first chapter of my latest nov--"

"WHY YES, YOU SHOULD HAVE."

"IT WAS VERY KIND OF YOU."

"MAY WE OPEN IT AT ONCE?"

Yuki handed it over, lips pursing as if he wanted a cigarette. "Please, be my guest."

Shuuichi stared at him as his family busily poured over the papers. Yuki was rubbing his forehead and looked grouchy -- though, as they glanced over at him, blushing, he smiled brightly at them again.

***

Dinner was a noisy affair, but even then, Shuuichi was watching him with the same horrified expression he'd gotten earlier. Yuki didn't know what the fuck *his* problem was; Shuuichi had wanted him to meet his family and now he *was*.

Fucking high-maintenance brat, he thought, scowling at Shuuichi briefly, then blinking when Shuuichi seemed... relieved.

Shuuichi pushed his chair back from the table. "I need to talk to Yuki alone for a minute!"

Fuck.

"Shuuichi?" Mrs. Shindou blinked at him. "Is something wrong?"

"No! No, everything's fine! It's just, uh, just... boy stuff!" Shuuichi leaned over, grabbed Yuki's sleeve, and yanked.

Yuki stumbled over, feeling his irritation grow, and managed a terse smile at the Shindou family. "Please, excuse us a minute."

He let Shuuichi drag him upstairs to his bedroom, then scowled. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I was gonna ask the same thing!" Shuuichi had his jaw sticking out and his brows drawn down. "You're being all CHARMING and NICE and that's not you!"

Yuki sputtered. "I'm going out of my way to be nice to your family when, I note, I didn't fucking want to be here in the first place, and you're fucking upset? When they were giving out brains, were you in the bathroom or something, you little twit?!"

He wasn't prepared for the giant, sappy smile that spread across Shuuichi's face. "Ahhhhhh," Shuuichi sighed, leaning in, wrapping his arms around Yuki's elbow. "That's better."

"What the hell!" Yuki growled at him, shoving at his head with one hand and managing no more than to bend Shuuichi backwards at the waist like a bow. "You saying I'm some sort of bastard or something?"

"Ahhhh, yesss, keep going, Yuuuuuuuuki!"

"That's it," Yuki told him, stomping out of the room and down the stairs as Shuuichi hung off him, heels trailing on the floor. "I'm sick of this shit. We're going home."

"But Mr. Yuki," Mrs. Shindou protested as they passed the kitchen. "You haven't finished your dinner!"

Shuuichi snuggled Yuki's arm. "That's so much better," he sighed.

Yuki gave Mrs. Shindou a look. "Fuck dinner and fuck this noise," he said, and dragged them outside.

After a moment, he opened the front door again. "You can keep the first chapter," he told them. "It's crap and I was going to scrap it."

Untangling Shuuichi to put him in the car and drive home, Yuki sighed a little. "Are you sure this is all right? I can go apologize."

"Yuki?"

"They are your family."

Shuuichi grinned at him. "Yeah," he said. "But they should know the Yuki I love, and the Yuki I love is an annoying bastard."

"I can leave you here, you know," Yuki grumbled, and fished out a cigarette. "Come on. We're going home."