The edge of the desk was a hard line in Ed's back, and he was having trouble breathing. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" he whispered, hoarsely.

"Of course it isn't," Roy murmured into his throat. "It never is."

It never was, no, but there were better places than this, in Roy's office. They played up a false dislike in public -- though their competition and aggression were still true -- but in private, they had to take advantage of what opportunities they had.

Ed moaned faintly, sure to keep his voice down, as Roy dropped his outershirt, his tanktop to the floor, as long sure hands stroked across his chest and carressed around a nipple. "We don't have time for teasing," he hissed, sharply. "Get undressed, c'mon."

Roy chuckled against him, nibbled at his throat. "What's the hurry? My afternoon schedule's free for once, and Hawkeye takes the calls."

It was public, it was too public, too dangerous. Admittedly, Roy's danger was half his appeal, but not like this.

"Dammit," Ed muttered, and wound his fingers in Roy's hair, tugged his head to his chest. "One of these days, we're gonna get in trouble for this."

It was pure luck that Hawkeye looked up right then.

She had been reading in the outer office, idly petting Hayate in her lap as she did so, but she heard a noise from the drive and looked up to see a quite official car in the drive, Hakuro holding the back door open as the Fuhrer got out.

Well. "Oh dear," she murmured aloud. A few quick steps took her to the supply closet, and she sat Hayate down inside. "Sit," she commanded, and the dog sat. "Stay. *Don't bark.*"

After a few moments of the puppy staring at her with wide, obedient eyes, she shut the supply closet door on him. It wouldn't do to be caught with a pet on the premises.

As for the other problem...

She strode quickly to the Colonel's door and rapped sharply, three times. "Sir," she called, and then there were people in the office doorway.

Hakuro smirked at her. "Stand aside, Lieutenant. The Fuhrer has come for a surprise inspection."

Hawkeye saluted sharply. "Fuhrer!"

The Fuhrer's smile was familiarly avuncular. "I don't think you'll mind us surprising the Colonel, hmm?"

"Of course not, sir!" She stood aside, opening the door for him. She could only hope that the Colonel hadn't gotten too far before -

Ah. All seemed to be well. Uniform precise and tidy, Roy had apparently just risen, leaning on the desk with one hand.

"Fuhrer!" If his voice was a little hoarser than usual, it could surely be written off. He saluted sharply, strictly professional.

Hawkeye allowed herself a tiny smile. Perhaps this wouldn't be too bad, after all.

Ed crouched under the desk, knees drawn up to his chest, and cursed the Fuhrer silently in every language he knew. For good measure, he cursed Roy as well - whose idea had this whole 'office sex' thing been, anyway?!

Hardly daring to breathe, he listened to them exchange pleasantries.

"I may be staying awhile," the Fuhrer said pleasantly, "so I hope you won't mind if I take your desk again."

Ed squeezed his eyes shut. Shit! Shit shit shit!

"Of course not, sir," Roy said, voice utterly calm. "The office is a little overheated, however; please, let me get the window for you." With a squeak, the window behind the desk opened.

When Roy moved away, around to the side of the desk, Ed could see out the window; it was a direct path. They were on the first floor, too, so the fall wouldn't be too far - but he doubted he could get there without being seen.

Well, if Roy couldn't make him a distraction, he'd make his own.

Silent, he pressed his palms together, then pressed one to the floor, concentrating on the wall behind one of the portraits. It wasn't much of a transmutation, simply causing a bump in the wall by the door, but it rattled the pictures audibly.

He could only hope they'd looked at the noise as he dashed for the window, grabbed onto the ledge, and flung himself out.

In the bushes below, he froze, sore and scared, but as there were no cries of alarm, he relaxed, slowly, and began to creep his way out.

No harm done, he thought, though there might be some harm done to the Colonel if it turned out he'd known about this.

Unlikely, he thought, wry. But they could figure that out when they met again - along with other things.

Ed dredged a piece of paper and pen out of his pocket and scribbled on it - "Meet me in the quad at 1400. You know why." Better to meet with Roy sooner than later, even WITH the Fuhrer here.

He went to slide it in his shirt pocket and realized he had none.

Nor any shirt - they were back in the office.

Shit, he thought, near-panicked. On the one hand, Roy knew they were down there, but on the other hand, he didn't trust Roy to be able to get the shirt out without anyone seeing.

He was gonna have to sneak back in.

While he'd told the Fullmetal Alchemist and his brother that he was leaving for his own people, Scar couldn't believe they'd actually believed it. It had been easy enough to get off the boat at the next port, and circle around to East City, where he intended to rid the world of the cursed Flame Alchemist for good.

Breaking into the base had been easier than expected, but making it into the buildings themselves was harder. Perhaps they knew he was there; the security had rapidly increased in the last few minutes. He lurked around the side, pondering what to do, when one of the windows disgorged a half-naked Fullmetal Alchemist.

Scar quickly ducked behind a tree, watched the boy pick himself out from among the bushes. The boy scribbled a note, then patted his chest frantically, and dashed for the building again.

Hmmm. He'd have to get ahold of that note, he decided, and see what it revealed. With luck, he could kill two alchemists with one stone.

It would be a pity to hurt the Fullmetal Alchemist's brother, naturally, but he had an oath to keep and alchemists to kill.

Carefully, he followed as Edward made his way to the front. He watched, lip pulling back in a faint snear, as the boy used alchemy to stir the trees on the far side of their path, distracting the guards as he slipped inside.

Refusing to let himself be nervous, Scar followed.

Before he could usher the Fuhrer to his seat, Roy bumped against the desk, 'accidentally' knocking a few files behind it. "Ah, my pardon, sir. Let me get that." He ducked down behind, prepared for the possibility that Ed hadn't thought of a way to get himself out, and was relieved to find the desk empty.

There was a reason Fullmetal was a good agent, he thought, then squinted at a differently-shaded patch of black.

Oh dear.

With deliberate calm, he snagged the shirts and balled them against his stomach, keeping his back to the room as he moved with the files over to the filing cabinet, where he'd hung his outdoor raincoat.

A little bit of slight of hand, and he had the balled clothes tucked under it, and the raincoat draped over his arm.

There-

"Colonel," Hakuro said and Roy froze, then turned around with an easy smile. "...aren't you going to pull the chair out for the Fuhrer?"

"Ah, my apologies," he murmured, relieved.

"It's fine," the Fuhrer said, waving him off. "I can get my own chair. Why don't you see to your people while I arrange the inspection?"

"Sir." He saluted sharply, before turning and leaving with the oh-so-dangerous shirts well-hidden.

Well. That was taken care of, then. He passed through the outer office and turned down a corridor to the right, moments before Fullmetal passed by, neither seeing the other.

It had been a slow, painful journey through, distracting soldiers all the way, but he was finally in the outer office.

The door to Roy's office began to open. His greeting lodged in his throat as he caught sight of gray hair - fortunately, Hakuro was still looking the other way, not turning his back on the Fuhrer.

Hurriedly, he ducked into the supply closet; there was no time, and Hakuro was the LAST person he could afford to get caught by bare-chested.

He sunk down in the darkness with a quiet sigh. Dammit, when had everything gotten so complicated?

Something cold and wet touched his neck.

Hakuro frowned at at a soldier who was returning to his post, apparently having checked out a disturbance earlier. "Did you hear that, Sergeant?"

"Er... hear what, General Hakuro?"

"That...squeak."

The soldier, still saluting, shrugged faintly. "No, General. I haven't heard anything for a few minutes."

Hakuro's eyes narrowed, suspiciously. "And what was that?"

"A potted plant fell off a shelf, sir."

Nothing important, then. He sighed, muttering to himself. "Probably a rat. This damned place would have them."

As he passed around a table, he caught sight of a paper on the floor. Thoughtful, he ducked to pick it up.

Meet me in the quad at 1400. You know why.

Very interesting, he thought. Very, very interesting. It had clearly been left for him; it was fairly well-known that he disliked Mustang, and he certainly wasn't the only one who wished to see Mustang's power fail.

It looked like he had an informant in East City. Very interesting indeed.

Someone entered and he walked towards the door, stuffing the note in his pocket as he went, not looking down at what he was doing in case the new man - a second Lieutenant who was, disgustingly, smoking on duty - noticed.

It may have been better to do so, as the carelessly-jammed note slipped free and fell onto one of the chairs by the table without him noticing.

He left the room, feeling deeply intrigued by this state of affairs.

Perhaps there'd be some value to this visit after all.

Slowly, Ed unclamped both hands from over his mouth.

Beside him, the dog whined a very quiet question and Ed reached out to scratch it behind the ears, trying to keep it satisfied and, hopefully, quiet.

He stiffened again as he heard the tromp of boots into the office again.

"Eh?" Havoc looked down at the crumpled note left on his chair. Shifting his cigarette in his mouth, he smoothed the note out to read it.

Meet me in the quad at 1400. You know why.

Eyes widening, he pondered it, then grinned. That bold hand, the brisk, demanding statements - it could only be one thing.

Lieutenant Hawkeye was asking him out on a date.

Elated, he beamed as Breda entered with Hughes, who could only be here as part of the Fuhrer's entourage. "Breda! Lieutenant-Colonel! Hey!"

"Hey!" Hughes grinned back, waving with the hand that wasn't occupied by a small stack of papers. "Long time no see, huh?"

"Yeah, very!"

Breda gave him a suspicious look, as if not sure why he was smiling, so Havoc took it on himself to inform him. "I," he announced, cheerily, "have a date with Hawkeye."

Hughes cheered, but Breda looked even more unconvinced. "With the Lieutenant," he said. "Uh-huh."

"Sure! You don't think she wants me-"

"Never mind that," Hughes interrupted. "Have you seen the Colonel? Alicia made a STORY and I wrote it DOWN and she ILLUSTRATED it the other day and it's just adorable. And because I was coming to see him, I thought, well, why not bring it along-"

Uh-oh. Hurriedly, Havoc backed for the door. "Nah, he's not here. He headed off to order some files sent to the Fuhrer for inspection or something or other. Anyway, I'm just going now. To my date. With Lieutenant Hawkeye."

Before Hughes could say anything else about his kid, Havoc made it to the hall. He dumped the note in the garbage before he left; no point hanging on to it once he'd memorized it.

He headed for the quad, whistling.

Scar emerged from hiding with a sigh. That note - had been familiar. The military man must have got his hands on it somehow, but it was the same size and shape of paper as the note the Fullmetal Alchemist had been writing.

Quickly, he dug through the garbage and produced it, slightly stained:

Meet me in the quad at 1400. You know why.

So the Fullmetal Alchemist was having an illicit meeting? It must be with the Flame Alchemist, Scar decided, if he'd been exiting his window half-naked and at high speed. Perhaps this other man had been charged with throwing the note out.

More fools they.

Scar headed quickly to the 'quad'. If he could get himself hidden in time, he was sure he could get to Flame and Fullmetal before they could react.

Winry wandered into the military complex with cheerful determination, though she was a little lost. Hmm.

"Excuse me!" she called, hailing a gray-haired man she vaguely recognized from her previous visit. Farman, his name had been, she thought... "Warrant Officer!"

He turned and blinked at her with narrow eyes. "Ah... Miss Rockbell, isn't it? It has been a while."

She smiled. "I'm just here to visit Ed and Al. I don't suppose you know where they are?"

Farman considered this. "Well, I imagine they're at their dorm," he said, eventually. "There hasn't been a mission for a few days..."

Winry got directions from him and set off, happily.

Wouldn't they be surprised to see her again so soon!

In the closet, Ed sighed. So Roy wasn't even there. Well, he could only hope Roy had gotten his shirts out, and if not... eh. Roy could come up with an excuse. Ed'd just blame him for raiding his room if he got asked.

Through the door, he heard Hughes chatting to Breda. "Are you sure you don't want to hear Alicia's story? It's so cute! It has ballerinas in it-"

"Uh, no, I-"

There was a thump, and Ed blinked.

"Oh!" And that was Fury's voice. "I'm so sorry, Lieutenant-Colonel! I didn't see you there-"

"Whatever," Breda sighed. "I need to get some toner."

Damn. Well, at least Hughes was distracted, Ed thought. He picked up Hayate and tensed for action.

The door opened.

Ed threw the puppy.

He escaped down the hallway as Breda screamed like a girl, drawing all the guards' attention. He was out before anyone had time to relax.

Heh. Actually, that had been sort of fun.

Well, nothing to do now but go and get some spare clothes from his dorm, then see if he couldn't find out who'd gotten ahold of his note, and what they might assume from it.

"Please excuse me," Fury said again, gathering all the papers together. "I have to get these to the Fuhrer as soon as possible! I can't leave him waiting-!"

Hughes watched with a wry smile as the young soldier dashed off into what had been Mustang's office. "Eh."

After a moment, he realized he didn't have his story anymore, and slapped his forehead. While he imagined the Fuhrer would take it with typical good humor, it just wasn't good form.

Well, he thought, sneaking over to the door and peering in, watching for when the Fuhrer would leave the desk, he'd just have to get them back.

Ed skidded to a halt as he came around to his own dorm's corridor. Someone was in the hall-!

He ducked behind the corner again and peered out, cautiously.

What was Winry doing here?!

He couldn't let her see him like this, he realized with growing horror. Winry knew how carefully he kept himself covered up when he was away from home, and she'd guess something was up.

She'd never let him live it down.

"Ed!" Winry called. "Al!"

Al opened the door. "Winry!" he exclaimed, delighted. "What brings you here?"

"Surprise!" she grinned.

Al invited her in. Ed groaned.

He'd just have to wait until they left, he decided. They wouldn't stay there long. The room was so crowded, and Winry would want to go into town to shop for supplies.

Ed lurked around the corner and waited. And waited.

Eventually, he tugged at his hair in aggrivation. They weren't coming out, and he was out of time.

Defeated, he headed for the quad. He'd just have to stay hidden, that's all.

I am ninja, Hughes told himself, waiting for the perfect moment. I cannot be seen.

Hawkeye's hand came down on Hughes's shoulder. "Lieutenant-Colonel, what are you-" Clutching at his chest, Hughes jumped. Hawkeye waited until he was done before finishing, "-doing?"

Giving her a frantic look, Hughes slowly began to frown. "Say, aren't you supposed to be out with Havoc?"

Hawkeye blinked.

"He was saying you'd asked him on a date."

Hawkeye blinked again. "...what?"

Before Hughes could answer, Roy rounded the corner. "Lieutenant. Hughes. Have you seen Fullmetal?" His coat was draped over his arm, and to Hughes's trained eye, his expression was slightly hunted.

Hawkeye nodded. "I saw him headed towards the quad moments ago."

"Huh." Hughes blinked. "Havoc's heading there too, to meet you."

Roy frowned. "But I glanced out the window a little while ago and saw Hakuro headed there-"

There was a pause as Hawkeye and Mustang stared at each other.

"Excuse us," Hawkeye said over her shoulder as they took off running.

Hughes rubbed his head. "Yeah, you, uh - I'll just get those papers back, then."

Havoc frowned around his cigarette as Hakuro showed up and waited, casual. Weird. Maybe the General was meeting a girlfriend here too?

He shrugged to himself. Eh. Not like it'd interfere with his date with Hawkeye - Liza, he reminded himself, and smiled.

Hakuro cleared his throat.

Dancing, Havoc thought. First he'd take her dancing. Then perhaps to a restaurant, and after, if he were lucky...

Hakuro cleared his throat again.

Mildly irritated, Havoc looked over. "Need a lozenge, General?"

"I am waiting for your report," Hakuro said, mildly irritated.

Havoc blinked. "Uh... report, General?"

"I got the note," Hakuro said. "And I'm interested in what you have to offer me."

"Offer," Havoc said, a bit alarmed. That was not the type of date he'd been hoping for.

Lips twisting, Hakuro glared. "You don't need to pretend to be a fool. We're alone here. What dirt have you found on Mustang?"

Havoc's eyes widened. Dirt? Hakuro was plotting against Mustang?

Very carefully, he spat out his cigarette, closing his fists and grinning, broadly. "Oh yeah," he said. "Dirt. Yeah, come here so I can give it to you-"

Scar frowned. So far, this was useless, simply military politicking, with neither party a National Alchemist.

He caught sight of movement out of the corner of his eye, and saw Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, settling into a hiding place, naked and unprepared.

Frowning furiously, he put his hand to the ground.

The Fullmetal Alchemist looked over at the movement and flung himself away just as the tree he was crouched behind exploded.

Scar rose to give chase.

"What was that?!" Winry demanded.

Al was on his feet. "It sounded like an explosion!"

They looked at each other, and were out the door.

"Brother-!"

"Ed-!"

Hawkeye saw Scar rise from his hiding place and looked to Mustang; his nod told her that they were changing tactics.

"General! Down!" she called, pulling both guns free from behind her back and firing at Scar. The Ishbarite seemed startled to have so much company and looked to his left longingly before turning to face them.

It wasn't raining today. Roy raised his hand and snapped twice, quickly; while Scar dodged the first blast, the second took him and burned. The scent of flesh hung in the air along with the sound of a native Ishbarite curse, but Scar had dashed off and was nowhere to be seen.

Hawkeye did a quick perimeter search and caught sight of Edward Elric in hiding, half-naked and sprawled behind some bushes. He made a shushing gesture hopefully, and she quirked an eyebrow but moved on.

Scar was nowhere to be found.

Mustang was calmly talking to Hakuro when she returned, and Hakuro had an odd, defeated look on his face.

"Well, Mustang," he said. "I suppose I have to hand it to you-" and he picked up Mustang's jacket, which he'd dropped when he snapped, to do that very thing.

Two items of clothing tumbled out.

Hakuro slowly bent and picked them up. "Mustang," he said, voice calm. "Can you explain this?"

Oh dear. Mustang looked trapped, and for once, Hawkeye doubted his ability to make an excuse up then and there. She composed her expression, and stepped forward. "Those are mine, sir. I gave them to the Colonel to hold so I would have my hands free to fire."

"Yours?" Hakuro was smirking, and his eyebrow was raised. "This is the Fullmetal Alchemist's usual clothing. Are you intending to tell me they are yours, rather than his?"

"Yes, sir," Hawkeye said. She kept walking over, moving towards Havoc.

"And you imply they are not in Mustang's possession through, say... fraternization?"

Hawkeye nodded. "No, sir. They're mine." Slowly, she wrapped her arms around Havoc's neck, pressing herself against him. She smiled, and let her voice come out practically a purr. "We like to roleplay."

Havoc's cigarette dropped from his lips.

Glaring at them, Hakuro demanded, "Is that so?"

Hawkeye stepped on the inside of Havoc's foot and he nodded immediately. "Oh yeah. Yeah, absolutely. She makes a fantastic Edward."

There was a long silence.

"That's disgusting," Hakuro said.

Hawkeye gave him a bland, wide-eyed look. "Oh, no, sir," she said. "We only do it off-duty."

Hughes ducked out of the way as the Fuhrer was hustled out of the office.

"What's all this-?" The Fuhrer's voice was low and amused.

"Sir," a soldier said. "We have to get you to safety; there were explosions on the grounds. There's a bunker downstairs that-"

As the voices faded, Hughes ducked into the office, digging through the files on the desk. The papers had been shuffled in quite at random, and it was a good fifteen minutes before he'd gotten most of them in order.

The phone rang. He lifted it.

"Fuhrer?" He recognized the voice of Farman and relaxed.

"Hughes," he answered.

The voice perked up. "Ah! Lieutenant-Colonel, Scar has been spotted exiting the city. We couldn't detain him, but he's gone. It's safe."

"He may double back," Hughes said, grinning. "We have to get the Fuhrer back to Central."

"Er, but sir-"

"Trust me," Hughes crooned, and hung the phone up.

That was another one Mustang owed him.

Al and Winry spent a good hour searching, and didn't find Ed, though they were relieved to discover that he hadn't been involved in whatever the explosion was. Things were pretty hectic on base, the Fuhrer being rushed to a car and his men with him, though Al saw Havoc take the time to slip the Fuhrer a note.

The Fuhrer had read it, glanced at a rather disgruntled-looking Hakuro, then nodded to Havoc.

"He was probably in the library the whole time," Al sighed. "Oh, Brother."

"Well, at least that means he's safe," Winry said, cheerfully, patting his arm with a clang. "Weird that the Colonel left so quickly after the Fuhrer did, though."

"Mmm," Al agreed. "He probably had something to get back to."

When they got back to the dorm, they found the room locked.

They froze at the knock.

"Brother!" Al called. "Can you let me in? I locked my keys inside."

"Don't say anything," Roy whispered.

"But he's my brother," Ed whispered back, glaring. "And he needs to get in."

Roy shifted pointedly. "Not right now, he doesn't," he hissed. Ed stifled a noise into Roy's shoulder.

Al's voice again. "And I know you're in there, see, because you're the only other one with keys."

Ed whispered, "Another hour or two outside won't be a problem, yeah."

"Good," Roy whispered.

"I can break the lock," Winry offered.

They froze again.

A sigh. "Winry, I think he's sleeping. Let's go to the cafeteria, I'll buy you dinner."

"Would this be the cafeteria," Winry asked, "where they served food delivered by a serial killer?"

"That was years ago-!"

As their voices faded, Roy and Ed slowly relaxed.

Roy started to snicker.

"Don't laugh," Ed muttered. "We don't have time for laughter. Anyway, at least this is private."

Roy's expression spoke volumes.

"Mostly private! Shut up and move!"

Roy obeyed.

But he kept an eye on the door, just in case.