Hawkeye rounded the corner of the building just as she saw Edward Elric face the wall outside, unzip his fly, and tug his penis out. She blinked, then frowned as he began to urinate against the base of the wall.

In one smooth move, she unholstered her gun and fired, and fired, and fired, and fired, and fired.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Edward shouted, spinning around and urinating on his foot. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

"Not outdoors," Hawkeye said, frowning minimally.

He flailed and she wondered if he knew how embarrassing it looked. "GODDAMNIT, LIEUTENANT! The bathroom was full!"

"We have standards," she informed him. "There may have been ladies and children watching." She hesitated to imagine what Winry (lady) or Roy (...a child in so many ways) would think if they glanced out of their windows.

Ed scowled hugely and seemed to realize what he was wagging, tucking it away hurriedly. "The only one watching was you," he spat. "And you aren't a lady."

She fired.

"...ma'am."