"Fuck, what sort of call-boys does that damn Colonel think we are?!"

"...Brother..."

"We're world-famous alchemists, you know! The Fullmetal Alchemist, friend of the common man, and his brother Alphonse!"

"...Brother..."

"And he has us transporting wheat! WHEAT!"

Al sighed tinnily. "Well, it *is* going to the east. There's been a famine going on, you know..."

Scowling, Ed gestured back at the cart. "THIS isn't enough to feed an entire people," he snapped. "You know that!"

"Um, the Colonel said it was an initial portion to see if they accepted it, and after that-"

"I know what he said," Ed snapped. "But-"

And then Ed stopped.

"Brother?"

Ed raised a hand to silence him. "Do you hear-?"

Sure enough, there was a distinct sound of... purring from the cart.

Brows lowered, scowling, Ed lifted the lid on the grain crate.

The grain was mostly full and, sitting on the top, was a small, fuzzy creature. It was about the size of the palm of Ed's hand and had no noticible eyes, nor mouth - it was just a ball of fur. It tilted at him and purred.

"What the fuck," Ed said, flatly.

Al picked a note from under the little chimera. "Um, it's from the Colonel, Brother."

Still frowning, Ed opened it.

Fullmetal - these are some chimeras developed subtly in recent years. They should aid you on your quest and keep you safe - they apparently squeak when homunculi are near. However, you may want to hurry to the east - where I've heard the homunculi are gathering with news of the Philosopher's Stone. Burn this letter when you're done.

"That bastard," Ed muttered. "He could have just TOLD us."

Al laughed, softly, and pet the purring chimera. "It's so cute, though! I wonder what he meant by 'they', though."

That night, Ed was woken by the sound of Al shrieking. "Brother, wake up, they're everywhere!"

Ed blinked awake. "Eh?"

Al was running in circles, cute little chimeras spilling out the top of his armour. "They've eaten all the grain! They're - BROTHER!"

Rushing over, Ed began to pull chimeras out of his brother. "How did there get to be so many?! What will we-"

Then he froze, a chimera in each hand, and an evil grin spread across his face.

The next day, Colonel Mustang received a large crate in the mail.

"Hmm," he murmured, frowning at it. "It's... purring."