Tatsuki answered the phone on the fourth ring. "Arisawa reside--"

"Hey, Tatsuki!" Chizuru's tone was overly cheerful. "I was just wondering--"

Eyes narrowing, Tatsuki glared at the phone. "...how the fuck did you get my number, bitch?"

"I looked through 'Hime's notebook when she wasn't looking," Chizuru said, as if that were perfectly acceptable. "Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to come to a lesbian sleepover!"

Tatsuki sputtered. "A lesbian -- WHAT?! NO! First, I'm not like you, you dyke, and why would I want to have sex with you anyway?!"

Chizuru's tone was offended. "Honestly, Tatsuki! You have a dirty mind! A lesbian sleepover is so much more than just sex!"

"No, no, and no!" Tatsuki said. She resisted for about half a second, then reluctantly added, "...what ELSE would you do?"

"Well, we get changed into flannel PJs and doc martin slippers," Chizuru said, cheerfully, "and break out the beer, and throw on old Rambo movies."

Tatsuki blinked. "Uh."

"...and we do each other's hair and makeup, or lack thereof as the case may be, and squeal over girls!" Chizuru paused. "...and then we have sex."

"No," Tatsuki said. "Whore," she added, and hung up.

The next day, she was sitting lazily in homeroom when someone she didn't recognize came and took the seat next to her. "Good morning, Tatsuki," the girl said, cheerful.

Tatsuki blinked at her, blinked again, then paused as the giant breasts registered. "ORIHIME? WHAT, WHAT HAPPENED TO--"

She looked Orihime up and down, at the stylishly untucked blouse, at the large boots Orihime was wearing with her uniform and, most noticably, at Orihime's lack of hair.

Orihime ran a hand cheerfully over her buzzcut. "Isn't it cute? I had it done last night!"

"Last night..." Tatsuki's eyes widened. "You don't mean--"

Chizuru took her seat in front of them. "Well, since you didn't want to, Tatsuki, I invited Orihime to the lesbian sleepover instead."

For a long moment, Tatsuki said nothing. Then she pointed a trembling finger at Chizuru.

"You will die," Tatsuki said. "A horrible, horrible death. At recess."

"Well, yeah," Chizuru said and shrugged, then grinned wickedly. "But it was worth it."